Posted By: sandybryant on
Monday, September 22nd, 2008, 9:35 am
Saturday night, winding down for the night in front of the tube, my cell phone starts ringing. My phone rarely rings, since only a handful of folks have the number (and I don’t even have it memorized.) I answer it when I see the area code is from Georgia, even though I don’t recognize the number.
It was my father’s girlfriend.
Now, this was absolutely the first time I ever spoke with the woman. I’m not really at the point where I want to talk to her. But she’s talking to me about how my father misses me, etc. I cut her short. “I’ve talked to Dad since all this started. 2 times we’ve talked, all for less than 5 minutes by DAD’s choice, not mine. And the last time he called I wasn’t home. I returned his call, and he has yet to call me back.” She starts to say something about how sorry she is then asks if I want to talk to my father. It’s after 10. Dad is probably passed out in their living room, probably has had 3 or 4 Manhattans. I have to be up at 6 AM for a training walk. I don’t want to talk to him.
I don’t know why she thought it was her place to try to “make emends” with me. I’m not her daughter. In fact, I’m only a couple years younger than her. My father has fingers that work; he knows how to use a phone. It’s not her job to repair this relationship. It’s his job. It’s not like she and I will ever become fast friends.
Dad did call last night. We chatted for 10 minutes. The problem with him is he doesn’t really want to talk too much about his day, and he’s not really that interested in what I do. He just wants me to call. Before all this happened, he and I would talk 3, maybe 4 times a year: his birthday, Father’s Day, Xmas, and sometimes we’d chat before he automatically handed the phone to Mom. I’m really doubtful that’s going to change just because of the divorce.
He’s making a little effort, but I really think he’s expecting me to make more effort. Why?
Tags:
family, divorce
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